She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
