what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
