i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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