My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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