Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize