Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
