I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
