just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Nicole vs. Life
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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