It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
