U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
handjob tips. give me some.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize