Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
