I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
worst night to have a conscience
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
