I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
