Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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