If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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