dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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