I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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