I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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