You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
