shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Randomize
