butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
another moral hangover. fuck.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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