She's JV to your varsity
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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