Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
