she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Send help, water and tortillas.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Randomize