He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He felt like a one man threesome
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
