i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize