yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize