Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
