i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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