I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize