yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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