My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
