The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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