Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
