so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Randomize
