He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
