Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
