Ambien. No doubt about it.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
