"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
