I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
