i was rollin on her like bob the builder
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Help me help you realize you are a moron
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
