I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
