I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
