she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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