And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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