you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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