i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
