Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
