Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
