OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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