I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Randomize
