I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize