I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
