i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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