12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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