dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
