woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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