No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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