im holly from the hills drunk
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
