things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
