dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
