Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize